Even though I have grown accustomed to my rubbish life here in London, I know I can have a healthier lifestyle. Living in a cramped home, with a limited supply of rations for us all, in unhealthy conditions isn't the best. I am hardly able to clean myself because of the bath water, it is always murky and dark. The unsanitary streets, where human waste is thrown on, are always smelly and unsightly. Never go out without shoes, or you will most probably walk in feces and urine. I hate living like this but I guess I have to get used to it for the rest of my life.
There are many reasons why I want to run away from this hell hole. The air in London is polluted. There are many diseases going around. Typhus, Typhoid, Cholera and more. They spread fast due to the poor living conditions we live in. It is overcrowded to the point where there are almost 3 families living in 1 apartment. There is also no running water.
Children are exploited through working to pay off debts for their family. As sad as it is, I was one of those children. Working in dangerous factories where there are many unsafe conditions for children aged from 5+. No safety gear, no supervision equals accidents or even fatalities.
As I made my daily trip, at the crack of dawn, to the factories, I wandered past a poster on a shop window. What it said made me interested. So interested I stopped, turned around and snatched the loosely hung poster into my rough hands. I scanned it a couple times to make sure I read it properly. It read 'International job offers. Ships leave at 6:00 tomorrow morning at the London docks. Emigrating from London to New Zealand. 1-month journey. Workers needed. 10-pound boat fare.' Filled with adrenaline I shoved the poster in my top and walked off like nothing happened. Almost with a skip in my step.
The whole day I was unusually chirpy and I noticed some others were as well. The posters were big news amongst us workers. It was talked about all day. The thought of leaving this place left me happy all day. Well as happy as I can manage, I haven't left quite yet. When I got home I greeted everyone with a smile and slipped my small savings into my dress. I have gathered 20 pounds over the past year. Of course, no one knows or it will go mysteriously missing. No one noticed my uncharacteristic attitude. No one does. It feels like I'm a ghost in this overpopulated apartment. Just another reason for me to leave. No one will notice my departure. That night I slept a dreamless sleep.
This time I left the apartment with my good pair of clothes on and a grin appearing on my mouth with every step I took. A little skip in my step while trying to avoid the small remains of feces. This time I didn't have a constant glare on my face. I was in a euphoric state. leaving this place gave me immeasurable joy.
I arrived at the busy docks, amongst the bustling crowd, trying to push my way through the mob. After I finally boarded the boat and paid my fare I sat up against a wall with other workers. I admired the blue ocean and the sun shining off the waves before closing my eyes in bliss and slumbered for awhile.
I awoke to the sun high in the sky and the seagulls chirping high above me. I couldn't get over the thought of me finally leaving that place. I took the opportunity as soon as it arrived. I was smiling until a frown settled upon my face. 'Why do I feel sudden regret and anguish?'. Maybe it's because I won't ever see the people I grew up with again.. Or that I definitely won't be able to find my little sister that went missing a couple years back... Suddenly regret filled my being. Almost fully encasing me in distress. Maybe I shouldn't have left. Maybe I should have found my sister first and left with her. Our parents died from a disease spread by contaminated water. I should have said a proper goodbye. What if I was wrong and my family at home will worry about me when I don't arrive home tonight. Why have I been so selfish... Look what a little thinking can do to you...
My thoughts were strangling me throughout the whole day, getting worse and worse as the second’s tick by. A constant shadow dawned my face until night fell and I finally lifted my head and gazed upon the twinkling stars high in the sky. Trying to once again convince me that everything will be okay. I think staring up at the night sky eased myself a bit before a hoarse voice called out to me. " O young maiden, as for why do the stars reflect off your tears?" My eyes wandered up and down the tall silhouette in front of me. "And why do you think you can inquire into my woes?" I lazily glared at the perfect smile directed towards me. He stretched before settling down next to me. "Because a young maiden like you shouldn't be looking so sad." He attempted to caress my hand but I snatched it away. "I can look after myself, sir. Thank you and good day." I pushed myself off the edge and walked away from the man who worried too much for a poor young worker.
As the weeks passed on my independence and confidence grew. My lost smile has come back. My laugh isn't as loud as it used to be though. That same man would occasionally wave and smile at me or start up a small conversation before I would walk off. Then one day someone started singing while we were sitting together which caused the rest of us to start humming or singing along. Then I joined in and we all laughed at the end. "You have a beautiful voice." Said a voice from behind me. I turned to see the same man from before. A couple of days ago I learned that his name was Collin. "Oh, that's rubbish Collin." I protested while crossing my arms over my chest. He just laughed and sung, "I'm not lying." I shoved him before walking off and smiling secretly to myself.
Over the week, we developed a great friendship. Then friendship grew into a relationship. A very tight bond we had. I was so caught up in us I didn't notice the diminishing time to our destination and before I knew it, we had arrived in New Zealand. We held hands as we approached the shore. I smiled wistfully into the sea spray wetting my face and to the beaming sun. It looks so beautiful here. All the greenery and snow-capped mountains. The chirp of the native birds. I look forward to my future here.