A slice of loneliness

My unfocused hazel eyes lay upon the shattered mirror. Staring at the irony of how that completely explains how I feel. Broken beyond repair. Constantly loneliness creeps into my thoughts and plagues it until it turns the sky turns dark grey. Funny because the weatherman said it was going to be sunny today.

Guess he was lying. Like everyone else. I’m used to people, that I become attached to, leave. I’m never good enough for people to stay. My eyes then detect some splotches of red staining my knuckles. The thick crimson liquid ran down my arm and dropped to the porcelain tiles. Weird.. It looks like it hurts but I don’t feel any pain.

Guess i’ve hurt so much i’ve come accustomed to pain like its an old friend. Just like my other friends in my head. They tell me what’s good for me and every single negative outcome when it comes to interaction, which instantly makes me change my mind.

People call me ‘anti-social nerd’ or ‘freak’ and other disrespectful names that hurt too much to repeat. But really I don’t want to become attached to someone in fear that they will leave me.. Again.

I sigh then drudge out of the small bathroom and somehow make it to the couch and stare at the static television. This small broken down apartment was all I could afford as my parents past away when I was 7 leaving me in the infinite system of foster care. By moving around so much I learnt to never get my hopes up for anything. None of the parents wanted me and I kept moving until I was an adult. I'm 19 now barely living off the benefit, living in a run down apartment complex, and attending a community college. I’ve got to say this is one of my good days.